haha its all good..now i know what u were hiding from me!! haha heyy i just look at these pics on facebook like an hour ago!!! yayy 4 facebook

glad u and zach r working! haa when one zach fails try the next =D

much loveee

I agree with all the below.
Don't let that jerk bring you down.
YOu've been doing so well.
He's not worth it to ruin ur happiness.
Glad you had a good time with Zach2
He sounds like such a good guy, and i think it's great that ur spending a lot of time with him. He seems a lot different than the other guys you've been with.
It seems he's interested in a real realationship with you and isn't all about s..x and what not.

Good luck girl!

~cassidy~

ahhhhh im lovin your attitudeee latelyyyy =D

awesomeee haha and a.... is only good if ur relaxed!!!! its one of my bestiess favorite things 2 do..whens relaxed that is..it cant b rushed haha so i meann hey if u wanna try it why not..buh don let the guy b some kiinda psyco!

Wow, guys are just orbiting around you. Soak it up as much as you can. :) Role playing is fun, I had one girl that wanted to be brother and sister. lol
I know too much. But she was hot, so I did pretty much whatever she told me. I'm a sucker like that. Though now that I think about it, it could be possible she had issues. lol
As for a...., perhaps if you use a lot of lube you should be ok. Just go slow at first.

And yes, all these poems are mine.

A totally agree with "lantern" as well.
And you're having fun and you deserve it.
i still like Zach 2 though =p
But still
good luck finding that one special boy

much love

~cassidy~

I know it's been a while, but in response to your last comment on my entry...thank you (=

<3

Andy knows i like him.

he told me he likes me too

we hang out all the time and kiss and stuff.  he just ahhhhh idk.

i'm totally confused.

Glad your looking for that right guy though. good luck and i'm sure you'll find a great guy for you. and some one that treats u right.

~cassidy~

Glad you had such an amazing guy.

the guy u were with sounded sweet.

but don't u think maybe you should try to stick to one?

i know right now it's fine because you're trying to fine that one. but later maybe you try to consider just being with one guy for awhile.  And that's good you decided to get out of zach1 he's an ass.

Hope you have fun with zach2, i personally like him the best so far. He seemed the most kind and better for a relationship. But who ever you decided i hope it all goes well for you!

~cassidy~

Oh hope everything goes well tonight with zach2

he seems nice. and just remember if things do not work out with zach2 maybe things will go better with jared or JD.

you never know. So keep a bright attitude and things should go well.

=]

sorry about ur industrial bar. Sounds like it hurt!

good luck

~cassidy~

Yeahh i know hwat you mean it wouldnt let me say anything to you either!! :/

Grr.

Stupid yahoo :]

[CroatianBrat]

im like screaming with proudness right now. yay ur eyes are opening!!!find someone who loves you and desrves u and isnt  ajerk and moody!!!

ily and thnak you for your somment:)

Yay good job not going! I think that's what is best.

And hopefully one of these three can make you happy

and help you get over Zach1 and help you stop being depressed over him because you're right it is NOT good for you. and you deserve to be happy.

So hopefully your dates go well this week and like you said, hopefully one of them is a winner!

Good luck!

~cassidy~

OH i know what movie ur talking about.

it looks really funny.

haha we're going to hsm3 cuz we're cool like that :P

anywayssss i don't think you should go to Zack1's house. I mean u feel he's just using you for s..x. And it seems that way too. Because before when you didn't want to have s..x with him he blew you off, got mad, and didn't want to do anything with you.

He's not worth it. I think you should try to see what this new zach is like and maybe he'll treat you right like you deserve. This zach1 just doesn't seem cool at all. Seems like a s..x addict kinda dude.

And i'm really hoping things work out with Andy and I also!

hope all goes well =]

~cassidy~

ahhhh sammi dont go!! its obviosuly killing you! its not worth going an hourr 2 have s..x wit him when u most likely dont want 2!! drop zachh hes not treating u how u deserve!!

and yeah im waitng..buh its lik how god dam long am i gonna wait if i dont go out looking! ya no

and person below me..dont call her dumb..shes the total opposite of it!!

he lives in a trailer?

u dumb.

i'll look it up.

cheers xx

:)

yeah? it's just hard in my house generally cause my parents always like make dinner and stuff. i might have to try that though :)

thanks xxx

That's kinda odd how you found another guy named Zach.

maybe this one will be better? He sounds a lot nicer than the other. But i can't blame you for being so confused. You like/liked him a lot. It's going to take time to get over him and maybe this new zack will be able to help you do that. I hope you have a nice time at the movies with him on thursday.

what movie are you going to go see?

and thank you for the comment. I know Andy sounded a bit whorish, but he's not really. You just kinda have to know him. It's complicated. But yeah. i guess we'll see what happens. lol. I'm going to a movie with him also except on saturday. And i know exactly what you meant by the cutting comment. That you cut so you don't kill urself. It's like that horrible feeling you get makes u want to be dead, but if you cut the feeling just fades a bit so it's not as bad and you don't do something much worse.

Take care

~cassidy~

heyy sammi!! sorry i havent been in latelyy!! anyways..gladd that you and zach hung outt!! i hope he keeps in contact with you!if he doesnt u gotta drop him lik a sack of DOO DOO! lolz everythings good wit me kinda..just tryin 2 find a boyfriend grrr lol

Awe that's nice that you guys got to something

and that u actually heard from him this morning.

maybe things will continue to get better.

But i think you're right. If he continues to blow you off you should drop him and find some one new.

I hope all goes well =]

~cassidy~

Our first official weigh-in is on Monday.  Please weigh-in on the "WEIGH IN HERE" entry.  Further information in the latest updates.  Thanks!  <3 L2G

I was wondering if you were still interested in being a part of L2G? 

You have been approved as a member. 

You have the option of putting "L2G" in your diary title, as a way to advertise and gain more support.  We will begin our first weigh-ins as soon as Monday. 

I'd love it if you could recruite some girls if you know of anybody's who's interested.  I know know is a HUGE dieting/pro-ed community here, and it would be nice to have them centralized; it can really help us all focus on whatever goals we have, share knowledge, advice, support, etc.  

heyy sammi!!!  ahh so sorry i havent been keeping up on you entries =/ ive been realllyyy busy latelyyy =/

anywayss sorry bout zach..u gotta stop texting him!! cause hes just a giant ass face!!!

glad u had fun at the beginning of your night..sorry bout that guy tho..if u do talk 2 him again and u find out that u had s..x slap him in his face!! cause thats maddd messed up 2 fck a drunk girl..thats lik rape.u were just 2 drunk 2 stop it..dirty guy! well i hope things go well..love u sammmiiii =D

[sodapop4]

hes such a dickkhead!!! i noe it feels good 2 get that goodnight or goodmorning text..wit ma ex boyfriends i used 2 lovee getting those random good-moringin textss..and i feel u with the text thing..cause im always like I AM NOT TEXTING HIM! an then i breakdown an text an then i feel lik a jackass when they dont answer..or take a long time..it always happened wit certain guys!!!!!

so stay strong!!! maybe you should just stop texting him period..cause hes officially a BUTT!!!

Sorry about Zack being such a doche.

I do that all the time though!

tell myself i'm not gonna text him till he texts me!

omg it feels like forever though doesn't it.

I usually wait and day and if he doesn't text, i'll text him late at night the second day

good luck

hope he texts you though!

~cassidy~

good luck
you're doing the right thing.

[xxmycharmxx]

im glad that your done with zach :]

and i dunno about this other guy....do you know him well?

and yer, im going semi-private, so then only favs can read it :]

xx

ahhh sammi im sorryy..you know what! you are a beautiful intelliegent amazing person!! soo maybe you should start seeing other people..you dont need 2 b waiting on someone whose not treating you how you should be treated..its his loss!!! hope the doctor goes welll! and i hope u start feeling better

X0X

im sensin zach is abit immature atm....

im thinkin you should go on the date, and then take it as it comes??

loveeexxx

thanks for the comment :]

its soo good that you gave blood, i really wanna give blood, but im too young atm, and i am kinda seriously scared of needles lol, but u myt have saved someones life, which is the best thing anyone can do :]

anyway, if zach keeps doing this, without a valid excuse, then girl, you deserve so so so so so much better!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

awww sammi!! im sorryyy...

i think you should just take your mind off of zachh for a lil while! he seems like hes throwing u around and shittt! if u ever need someone to talk to..u can text or even if u want call me..cause ill be willing to talk..u might have 2 get past my NY accent tho tehehe

newaysss take ur mind off of boys..ur a strong independent girl..ur gonna go places in life..ur gonna b the BESTTTTT psycologist or what you wanan be everrr cause ur a goood influence! ur inspiringg to mee,..and youve been through it all so you will help anyonee

love ya lotss sammi girl..hang in there

XXShawna

ahhhh sammi calm down!!

dont hurt urself its not gonna make things better! its only gonna make things worse cause the next day when u do feel better ur gonna b lik y the fck did i do that 2 maselff]

and the doctors just need 2 keep helping you so if u have 2 b sore 2 get better so be it..maybe take some advil or something?? im soo sorry 2 hear about ur pain =/

and about zach..just keep an eye on him cause he seems a lil shadyyy

ahh i need a job tooo girll..its hardd tho! specially since im only 15..i hope u feel betterr..and i hope zach stays talkin 2 u throughout these five dayyss...

and dont worry bout eating mann! my mom keeps telling me im getting fat lately..its just cause my knee is blown out..so im not doing my usual workouts..its sad cause i think ive gained lik 4 pounds or so in a week..my mom just keeps being brutally honest tho an its annoying!

tlak to hm again and be SOOO sure that hes not gonna bail on u! this is what ya gotta say

"look bitch..if i miss this appointment because of u,im gonna impale ur p...s" he might not wanna talk 2 u again after that tho...lolz

If you really do love him, then tell him that! and roomates have fights all the time, it comes with being with someone for a while. todays just been a bad day. tomorrow will be betetr:)

im really sorry

things have been super hard for u lately

zach isnt worth it. remember that. even tho u like him a lot

ur gonna be so much better without him.

and ur not a horrible person!

things will turn around u just have to stick it out and wait.

take care

~cassidy~

haha

im back for good :)

and whatever ive accomplished, is going down the pan

so how've you been?

hows your life been going?

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

xx

yayyyyy i got ur friend request...i denied it tho..eww..

tehehhe kiddinggg obviouslyy!! ima write on ur wall an b lik SAMMMIII!!!!!

thankss also..i hope my therapy goes well too

and stop hating urself! CRIST WOMAN! if anything be amazed at urself..look how well ur handling everything ur going through!!!! do you know how many people who would jsut shutt downn if they went through what you did!!! keep ur head up loveee

and yes..that is a horrific line

Don't hate yourself for what he did.

u can hate him, that's fine. And he probably is lying about going to work early. I mean he was pushing s..x on you for so long and now that you finally did he's treats u like crap.

and thank you for the comment. I wish i could get out of the past but it's hard. And i finished my project finally!!

~cassidy~

Awe i'm sorry.

that's really rude of zach to do that.

i've been following your diary for some time now and u finally have s..x with zach and he has to do that.

i don't think he's worth it. you deserve better.

take care

~cassidy~

Please be careful with these guys.  Make sure they're good before you go to their places ya know?  The artifacts were wood carvings, and pottery, home made jewelry, and quilts.  If I may ask, what surgery are you getting?  And good luck with that I hope you recover well.

~Tons of love

thankyouuu :)

and its no way wrong to want someone to love you, inless i am wrong too, someone will come in time.

xxxxxxxxxxx

i just wrote u a ridiculously long comment and it freakin erased..im so mad...well here goes...AGAIN! im gladd u didnt have s..x with zach!!! if this is the longest you have waited with a guy than that means hes really special to you!!!! im gladd you blew him tho haha so he can get a lil taste of what you can do! he wont wanna leave ya haha and i feel you bout the doctors thing..ive been to two doctors in the past 2 days..my pediatrician and my orthopedic..and starting next week a physical therapist..all 4 my knee...i also had a few X-Rays and an MRI...dam man! those things are LOUD!!!!!! haha neways group therapy sounds good..you can find other kids that have had similar hardship! oh and about the finding yourself thing..i wouldnt worry to much about that..its something that kinda has to come naturaly i would think..so when you find yourself you will know =)

much lovee and respectt

X0X0 shawna

Thanks =]

an I found out my scales broke cuz I went to my friends house for a but earlyer and weighed myself there and I really lose like 10 pounds =]

~Nicole

thankyou :)

and why on earth do you feel bad that you didnt fuck him!  thats good if you didnt want to do it, always do things that you want to do!

loveexxx

I LOVE GRAVYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! especially the kind from KFC...omgg sooo want somee lolz..like this non caring attitude u havee yayyyY!!! havee faith in zach! woohh..sorry short commentss..lil busyyy right nowws lol

bye loverrr

yayyyy ur finally realzing this life sucks shit doesnt help!!! like i been sayinn!!!! and u always look hott!!!! haha id so go lesbian for u =) lol kidding..im not thattt gay lmaoo

newaysss hope u have shitloads of fun!! woooh!! and hopefully u an zach get betaahhhh

Oh I bet that looked really good!! Can't wait to see the pic! :]

Natasha

:( i hate that you hate your life :(

please feel better :)

and i thought i was over the guy, but now im just confused lol,
xxx

ahh sammi im so sorryy..ur still sayin semi positivee thoo which is why i look up 2 u so much!! and how u gonna say things wit u an zach might not be working!! seems 2 me lik he lieks u very much!! so look at this glass half full not half empty! and yes u can do whippets with whip cream cans..buh i heard thats not as good..the ones ma brother has are actualll whippets..lik those lil C02 cartrigaess..i just did another one now and while my voice was all manly sounding i sang ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts!! buh then i died laughin and staarted flailing around ont he couch lolzz

much loveee <3

You're welcome and thank you. I know what you mean. The subject of this and my other poems is so beautiful. I can barely believe she'd be interested in me. She said she'd be interested in seeing what would develop between us. I was afraid the distance between us would be a turnoff for her too, she lives in another state. Well, I got this far, I'll just see what happens. Talk to you soon. Hang in there.

Chad

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you feel better.

Chad

ohh goodness sammi...im soo sorryy this happened 2 u! dontt worryy tho..just live ur life an try an get the 100 downpayment if its whats gonna workk...i really do see you being happy one day in the future i doo...its hard noww.and for a lil while it prolly will bee buh i honestly do see u being happyy and successful in the future..so just keep on goin..never give up sammi and ull get where u want too one dayy

much love<3

I'm sorry to hear about the HPV. I hope something good happens and you will be able to afford the treatment. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Thanks for your comment, I'm glad you liked the poem. Take care.

Chad

Thanks you for your support, really that means a lot.

It sucks not being supported by your parents, but i'm gonna try to deal.

[Kaput]

okayyy ill textt yaaaa =) is it tha same numberr?? hope soo im 2 lazy 2 wait 4 yur response hahah ill jus text yahh...and yes..i am spazzing outt tehehe...god if u ever met me in person ud prolly b laughin lik 24/7 =P

woooohhh =)

chinnn upp girlll....zach will get bck 2 u

yayyyy!!! see i told u that you dont suck!! weeeee!!!! and yeahh u best put pics up!! dont cha love when u get undies 4 cheap?!? i just got lik 5 thongs at mandees...guess how much..A DOLLAR EACH!!! an they reall cuteeee hahaha lmaooo..and thanks 4 ur commenttts ur soo nicee..and yur so right..family doesnt always mean bloood..

oh and im glad u really lik zach..buh that sounds really jerk off-ish sayin im dissappointed..well tell him 2 start thinkin more wit his first head than his second then!!!! lolzz

an even after u told him uve been rapedd...shudnt he understnad?? fooolioo

glad u said no tho! wooooohhhhh

Thanks, and of course =)

<3

you know what...put up an entry right now...that says "I DO NOT SUCK!! SO FUCK YALL HATERSZ THAT THINK I DO"

put that up..it will make me happy =)

oh man the motorcycle thing makes me sad =( bad memories =(

glad u saidd no 2 that kid!! yayyyy!!!! sammi said no!! wooohh!!! AND OH EM EFF GEE SAMMI!

I SWEAR...ONE MORE TIME..AND IM COMIN 2 UR COLLEGE!!!!! U DO NOT SUCK!! CHRIST!!!

if u sucked than u wouldnt have said no 2 that kidd...and go hang out wit zach..he shud like u no matter what u look like!!!!

x0x0 and STOP SAYIN U SUCK!